10/16/2013

Dear world, wtf

I'm not getting you these days world
Issue one ... Halloween stores. These are a great idea. I love em. But I'm horrified in there. Like real horror. I saw a very lifelike baby zombie, bleeding from endless sores, chewing its own foot off.
Who the fuck is the demographic here?
Anyone who really wants an image like that in their head, real OR fake, can go watch some fucked up zombie snuff film. But I don't think that shit is mainstream enough that we want little kids, moms, young girls, or even ME, to see that.
Why not just have the zombie baby be dead and have some other zombie fucking its skull?  Why stop?
Issue two, same store... Every female outfit was for a whore.  Whore nurse.  Whore cat.  Whore crayola crayon.  Really!   A whore version of a kids toy.
Now I'm all for women dressing up like whores, and so are many folks I'm sure. But these were kids outfits!
I can imagine bringing my daughter in and trying to find the right whore outfit for her... "You look pretty good as a crayon honey, shake that money maker"
Issue three.  We get 100 emails a day.  Everyone does.
20 Facebook messages.
100 texts.
5 calls.
When the fuck am I supposed to jerk off?