shit got weird

to all my loyal fans, i apologize... shit got weird.  two days after my last post the landlord tried to evict me and the family.
then more happened.
and then more.
but during the past 5 months i've fallen in love again... with twitter!  maybe it's because i've been so busy.  maybe it's because of the whores.  and maybe i'm just lazy (140 characters?  fuggedaboutit!)

anyway, please follow all of my witty (and now concise) banter at
doctorglitter on twitter


100 posts!

today i reached a new milestone.  my last post (with thanks to my reader for nudging me) was my 100th career blog post.
and thanks to the new format, i can see that my page has been viewed over 10,000 times!


thanks universe for creating the internet.  and al gore's penis.

thanks reader

thanks to my parents, whom i neglect to thank every now and then.  and thanks to all of my ancestors whose shoulder i now stand upon... for toiling in africa, escaping from trees, walking to the promised land, diaspora'ing to europe, taking a boat to new york, taking TWA to LA, and leaving me here... on the top of all of your collective struggles.  in case you can hear me somewhere, this is awesome!  i'm gonna go eat some ice cream.


That's fiction for chicks. Kinda like chick flicks, except it's reading. So it takes a lot longer and you can't sleep through it.
I've been spending my last 6 weeks reading the Game of Thrones epic saga. I'm on book 3 (of 5).
It was really cool til (spoiler alert) book 2 had the surprise ending of dragons! Oooh how mystical. Maybe we'll get fairies and unicorns next.
That said I can't put it down cause every now and then there're beheadings.
So I guess it has crossover appeal.


i have no viewpoint ... on ambien

i really can't come up with any opinions right now.
mayb it's the drugs.  i mean, that's a pretty easy thing to blame.
clenching jaws
heavy creamy eyes
empty brain

woa, i just woke myself up!  i was face into keyboard for 2 minutes i think.  i should set up timers.

rolled at a bar with random folks tonight, and we did fine.  in some ways i'm so proud of those party kids who just fired up and did it.  they saw tremendous opportunity, somehow.  so they went and did it.  or are they all derelict junkies?
either way i think we'll be ok.  and they aren't sleeping here, so low risk over here.

i write an "S" letters upside down.  i start at the botom.  Do any of you readers?
i learned early and never unldeared

ps, just took a break to hot tub.  fell asleep 3 times in hottub


Hot Mess

where'd this phrase come from?  people are using it like crazy these days.  my friend just used it tonight:
"i was partying so hard, i couldn't tell chalk from blow.  i was a hot mess."

i gotta say TIMEOUT.  hold up playa!

folks... what you're tryin to say is:
"i was all messed up"

but what it's sounding like is:
"mmm, i'm cuming in my pants right now thinking about gettin some.  you interested?"

we need to bring this one back to the popular-phrase-wherehouse and rethink it.
unless the point is trying to get people to hook up more... then i agree with it


UhOh! I'm in trouble

and as usual, it's the same issue.  how the perspective changes as a dad.

so i'm reading a book with my daughter, when it hits me...

my daughter's the same age as my first girlfriend!

i was in second grade, and i was in love with a beautiful blonde... let's call her Jenny.  she was 8 yrs old, also in second.  i remember looking at her (Jenny), staring at her.  studying her smooth skin.  thinking about her hair.  loving the way her clothes touched her body.  i loved/adored everything about her.  i was infatuated.
this isn't dirty by the way, these were an 8 year old's memories

then i looked at my daughter and thought, "what kind of sick fucker was infatuated with a girl this age?  she's just a girl!  omg, boys are little freaks!"

but it also made me love her even more.  just remembering the way i adored Jenny, really loved her.  it made me see my girl as even more precious and ... adorable

but still, this parenting thing is the trip of life.  if you haven't done it, i highly recommend.


Eyes don't lie postscript

After posting that last one I saw these!

Demi is grinding young dudes. Her eyes don't think she's in her 40s either.

So once again I've got SO MUCH in common with Demi. It's amazing we never hooked up.


My eyes don't lie

I'm walking through the airport and my eyes find the young hotties. Like some US Army laser from space, I spot them in seconds!  I could do this for a living I'm so good.
But when I looked in the bathroom mirror I saw a 40 year old guy staring back at me.
So... Am I officially a dirty old man?  Is "half your age" the definition?
But more interesting to me is this; why don't I spot the 40 year old hotties?  
Easy answer is that there aren't any.  It's untrue though. They're out there. And they're much better lovers at that age too. Go ahead youngins, try it out.

I've always noticed that I'm attracted to my age range. Roughly. When I was 7 I was famous for saying that "i wanted to see 7 year old girls' you-know-what's"
When I was in college my laser spotted girls 15-25
At 30 it was 16-39. At 40 it's 18 - whatever.
But I'm still watching the 20 year olds. I didn't know that would happen!  I'm not sure I'm ok with it. Mostly because it's 'not gonna happen'.
God!  Damn you!  Why do you make me ogle those I can't have!