Did you see the ambien, i mean sunrise?

Do you remember this one?  season 3 started with a bang!  in the first episode, a russian spy is in town.  same one who tortured our studs back in nam.  it's a series of flackbacks, weird torture and "cookie".  here's the deal, you say "cookie" to any of these men, and 50 monkey teeth pour outta there asses and the others yell "jackpot" and try to collect all the teeth through there bamboo basket-jails.

in this photo, tom corners the russian and asks if he saw the sunrise today?  instead of a "nyet" he answered with an accented "No".

Tom pulls out the magnum, and SETS HIM DOWN.
it was easily his least-satisfying kill of the show.  it was more mercy that made him do it.  killing someone who was an agent of death, but now is weak.  killing someone who brought so much sorrow to his (and his friends) lives.
but it was WAY satisfying for me at home.  i fucking hated that russian.  like any good american middle schooler did in the 80s.  and it drove me crazy how he said "coo-kie".  like it was two words.  each one more annoying than the other.
the death was also super weird for the producers.  magnum had no shirt on, so the blast from the gun (he always used real bullets) singed off most of the chest hair.  no pictures exist of magnum with his burned chest hair, but many images DO exist in my little rolodex of 'self time'.
what's hotter than the shape of a magnum burned into the chest hair of magnum PI
someone photoshop that for me and i'll make you wealthy beyond your wildest dreams


  1. cee lo fruit breadApril 11, 2011 at 9:59 AM

    i read that charlie sheen calls ambien "the devil's aspirin". thought you might like that.

  2. ambien is kinda like "john malkoviching" yourself. you're somewhere completely unknown, you're a different person. but you're not aware that you're so different. so you keep talking/writing, and you think it sounds normal.

    clearly, its not normal.

    but i'm laughing my ass off at work reading that shit. so at least it's funny.

  3. if thats the devils aspirin, what does the devil use for a sleeping pill?

  4. Nice interpretation of Ivan's death as a mercy kill. But I still drew great satisfaction from it.
    -Baron Karza

  5. i drew great satisfaction as well. mostly because he finally stopped saying "coo-kie". it's an interesting interpretation, and i don't feel immodest in saying that, because that hardly came from me. it came from the ambien-addled version of me. who knows who i was channeling at that moment. i never thought that before. but i like it.
    part of it came from googling that actor. he looks very old now. "mercy killing" old.