Time... for ambien. Just a halfy

Time "magazine" is at it again.
Why do I care?
What's my problem?

My problem is that i have this basic belief that news organizations should strive for objectivity.  even though objectivity doesn't really exist, they should at least try to eliminate their own observer bias.  and comment on their bias as it shows up.  this feels fucking important.

but more than that, this magazine STILL seems like it's supposed to be relevant to lots of people.  i mean, if this were just some christian rag, or tonight's "young republicans" discussion topic at Bryn Mawr  (yea, i said Bryn Mawr)... then who would care.  but this is TIME.  Time.  the people who give you a clock when you subscribe.  or an encyclopedia set, for 75% OFF.

we don't all believe in Hell Mr. Time (Morris Day?).  we don't even all believe in religion Mr. Day.  and of those that do don't necessarily have a "hell" as you describe it.

so this is my question to you?  was time always this way?  (see a prior post with other wonderful headlines, like...)

is Time just a monster media source who is shameless about their overt christian agenda?


is this a new thing?  have they changed?  is Time representing part of the culture that's going full-speed in reverse toward a "simpler" time... when christians openly ruled (wherever they did that) and women/children were their servants, and all non-believers (pagans, jews, sexy burning man folk) were cannon-fodder?


the evolution of hate... on ambien.

the blatant, institutional, over-the-top racism, that marked this country for centuries, has changed.  i won't say it's vanished, but it's not the same.  it's taken new forms, shows up in different ways.

i've been thinking on this since january, when local schools held a martin luther king, jr event.  around his birthday, children from every public school participate in programs to raise awareness about his life, the lessons we learned, and how that can and must shape our future.  some kids wrote speeches and poems.  some recited paragraphs about prominent african-american heroes (this part was amazing... the kids were so young but said so much).

it struck me watching children (of all races) who didn't know this history, try to fit it into their worldview.  i live in a very diverse area (by that i mean, people with different skin colors and their ancestors place of birth) and my kids are at an age where they notice color/shape/size/smell/sound of all people, but without a fraction of the meaning we attach to those things.  suddenly, like we were telling them our dirty secret, they found out that some of them were "different".

it was heartbreaking to hear one boy say about his brother (both are black but have different skin tones) 'back then he couldn't have been my brother because of his skin'.

strange also to wonder what my daughter is thinking when she says "we were slaves" (referring to the jews).

then i heard the story of Chinese Hospital in san francisco, founded this week in 1920.  back then they needed a hospital for chinese people, because "white" hospitals refused to care for them.  French and German hospitals did too.  despite all the arguments that can (and should) be made about the presence of racism today (uh, it's alive and well) it doesn't take this form anymore.

a shift is needed in our discussions about racism.  Bill Clinton actually said some interesting things on the subject in his second term, when he wasn't... uh...

anyway, on the one hand the Racism-is-still-tearing-apart-our-society-and-it-still-exists-you-racist-honkey folks need to acknowledge the colossal change that's taken place.  the shit directed at some people for even hinting that's it's changed is not helping.  and is partly responsible for a system that mixes-up our kids.

on the other hand, the look-how-good-things-are-we-have-a-black-president-so-shut-up crew needs to, well, shut up.  sadly, you're probably too narrow-minded to understand how wrong you are, so just don't talk.  but comment and we can talk offline.

it's wonderful how much has improved in the past 100 years.  we need to celebrate that while somberly remembering what people can and have done.  so much has changed in those years.  this country has been an incredible place for great violence and great healing.

i went to my son's school seder, a jewish passover "spring" festival, that commemorates our escape from slavery in egypt.  we honored the bitterness of slavery and the power of our exodus.  but it was completely lacking in animosity towards egyptians, pharoes, and charleton heston.  a few years has passed i know (time will make this easier).  but i was struck (again!  that's like 3 times) that this was an example of how we need to evolve in discussing our checkered past.


Did you see the ambien, i mean sunrise?

Do you remember this one?  season 3 started with a bang!  in the first episode, a russian spy is in town.  same one who tortured our studs back in nam.  it's a series of flackbacks, weird torture and "cookie".  here's the deal, you say "cookie" to any of these men, and 50 monkey teeth pour outta there asses and the others yell "jackpot" and try to collect all the teeth through there bamboo basket-jails.

in this photo, tom corners the russian and asks if he saw the sunrise today?  instead of a "nyet" he answered with an accented "No".

Tom pulls out the magnum, and SETS HIM DOWN.
it was easily his least-satisfying kill of the show.  it was more mercy that made him do it.  killing someone who was an agent of death, but now is weak.  killing someone who brought so much sorrow to his (and his friends) lives.
but it was WAY satisfying for me at home.  i fucking hated that russian.  like any good american middle schooler did in the 80s.  and it drove me crazy how he said "coo-kie".  like it was two words.  each one more annoying than the other.
the death was also super weird for the producers.  magnum had no shirt on, so the blast from the gun (he always used real bullets) singed off most of the chest hair.  no pictures exist of magnum with his burned chest hair, but many images DO exist in my little rolodex of 'self time'.
what's hotter than the shape of a magnum burned into the chest hair of magnum PI
someone photoshop that for me and i'll make you wealthy beyond your wildest dreams


We're All Ballers

why does anyone want to be famous anymore?  you don't need fame to live like a Baller.

i'm specifically focusing on performers with this post.  because all performers wrestle with the whole idea of fame/fortune.  and i've been a performer for a long time.  all performers know that we might achieve ginormous fame... and with that, sick-ass fortune.

here's some more images...

the world has changed though.  and here's my point (my only point, sorry.. but it's a good one):  you don't need fame anymore to live like a baller.  everyone can have a lowered-el camino w/ phat rims, a flat screen, 5 track suits, gold chains and a vacation in bermuda.  everyone!*
*some restrictions apply:  you must reside in the united states, have a job and are not mentally ill

it's crazy.  it throws the whole "fame and fortune" equation into disarray.

fortune (minus) costs-of-fame (equals) a good life

with fortune so easy to come by, there's just no reason to endure the costs of fame.


putting the F in fantasy

the fantasy baseball season opened yesterday.
and before you start, you know what, fuck you.  because i know what you're thinking.  you think i'm some bored, white, dad.  with a 9-5 job.  and all that other republican-vasectomy-steak bullshit.

first of all, jews are not white
second of all, my job starts at 8 muthafucka!

and get out of your head!  fantasy baseball means FANTASY.  open up your mind and dream.  choose you're own adventure.  it can be whatever you want it to be.

in honor of the opening day, i found a list of my last 10 FANTASY teams.  and i wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.
  1. sorry for raping you - really.  i'm sorry.
  2. stinky selleck - this is when you have anal sex with tom selleck and he wipes his penis on your mustache area.  giving you a "mustache".
  3. they're so little and cute - a fucked up line from an amazing movie
  4. kimmy khan black - the words required to find my favorite porn clip in 2006.
  5. cunny say kay hey - Airplane jive.
  6. asian con carne - what can i say?  its a fetish.  it's FANTASY
  7. i was loved as a child - isn't that obvious
  8. heavy jew cox - it's not that big, but it's certainly heavy.  you'll feel it.
  9. piss shit fuck - the job description of my favorite organ... the cloaca!
  10. faggotassfaggot - that's what i see when i look in the mirror.
What's YOUR fantasy?